The Deaf Don't Have It So Bad

The world, as a whole, seems to be very interested in smaller, thinner, sleeker things. Phones, cars, cameras, emissions, computers, independent thought. These are only some of the things that have jumped ship to join the downsize list. It seems now the only big things the world condones are boobs and shoes. And even then, it's go big or go home.
But then headphones said they'd had enough.

Now, there's a time and a place for small headphones. The gym, for instance. A boring class. a funeral. But sometimes you just need a big-ass set of headphones. I, too, have subscribed to this philosophy. And so I obtained a pair. Today, I tested them.

I wore nothing special. Black beanie, blue hoody, black track pants, black, inconspicuous shoes. With roaring headphones. White and black, bulky, shining plastic, huge headband, and skulls. Ah, the skulls. I put them on, and something changed, as I walked down the sidewalk. Students streamed past on either side, but it was as if I had joined the ranks of the handicapped. People immediately assessed the situation, assumed I was hearing impaired, and corrected their path to allow me a straight shot through the throng. I walked for 10 minutes without sidestepping once.

And the looks, ah the looks. Everyone questioned the headphones, because they themselves posessed only their small ones. "What is he doing?" "I have the right fashion, don't I?" "Oh no, should I have a pair of those?" "He looks ridiculous, doesn't he know anything?"

But not a single person said a thing to me. Perhaps because they all assumed I could not hear had they said something anyhow. And that would normally be true. But I can't help but wonder what would have transpired had they known the truth. I forgot to charge my iPod the night before, there was no music.