Rethink

Last night was a bad, bad night. Since finally making the choice to turn to photojournalism as my emphasis, I've been moderately pleased with the results. I'm by no means an excellent photographer, and I'll be the first to admit that. But I'm good, and I'm working on it. Last night made me rethink all of that.

I got sent out on a shift to cover a city council meeting on chickens, and whether they should be allowed on city property and the like. We joked about the possibility of people bringing chickens, and it WAS suppose to be a heated debate. I'd never shot a council meeting before, so I was ready to test myself and see how I could do.

The meeting started with Darwin telling everyone not to make any demonstrative acts. No clapping, no yelling, no anything. Which made me worry. I started focusing on hand gestures and facial expressions, particularly on advocates face's when realtors got up to speak. But the lighting wasn't very good, and I very stupidly forget to bring a tripod. Generally, that wouldn't be a problem, and I did get shots that weren't blurred and had decent lighting.

However, I just couldn't get a good, pivotal shot. And then when the meeting ended, I busied myself trying to get names to go with pictures for captions before everyone left. It was only as I was walking back to my car that it hit me. I had my camera at my side, notebook out getting names as people walked toward me in a wave of exultation, clapping hands, giving hugs, sighing with relief. There were the shots I needed. And I had missed them.

Last night was a trying moment for me. On the one hand, it was a huge learning experience. I missed my shot because I didn't plan ahead for the moment when I would be most capable, and instead worried too much about gathering the pictures in a poor situation. It really made me question my viability as a photo journalist. I'm still shuddering a bit thinking about it. But it also led me to make a vow to myself to never turn in pictures of such terrible quality ever again. I am going to do my damnedest to make sure I never repeat that feeling and situation of utter failure.